America's Election Nightmare.

             It is the morning of the 8^th November, 2016. Donald Trump strides along the corridors of his Mar-a-Lago mansion, Trump’s home in Palm Beach, Florida. He enters the conservatory and greets Governor Chris Christie with a broad smile and firm handshake.

DT:      Mr Governor, thanks for coming to meet me. What a night, last night. 

CC:      No problem, Donald. Yes, quite a night.

DT:      We should use titles now the election’s done. I have a proposal for you. I know you were thinking about Attorney General or Secretary of the Interior but I have a much bigger job in mind. What do you think about becoming my Chief of Staff?

CC:      Exactly what staff do you have in mind?

DT:      You know, the cabinet secretaries. They will report to you and you can filter to me what I need to know. Then there are the people in the West Wing, the OEOB and all that.

CC:      Well, Donald….

DT:      I’ll stop you right there. Mr President-Elect if you please. Okay, Chief, what do you say?

CC:      Mr, ehm, do you not know what happened last night?

DT:      Sure, I went to bed around midnight. I was almost a million votes ahead in the polls.

CC:      That didn’t last. Mrs Clinton nearly caught you up in the popular vote. The important point is, and I don’t like telling you this, you got killed in the Electoral College.

DT:      Electoral College? What’s this all about?

CC:     Clinton won the big states, New York, Illinois, California, Pennsylvania, Ohio and New Jersey. Mr President-Unelected, you won Texas and Florida and a few other states like Wyoming and Montana.

DT:      Chief, this is so outdated. I won the popular vote didn’t I? Therefore, I am the next President.

CC:      That is not how it works, Mr President-Unelected. Surely you know the Constitution.

DT:      So outdated. We hear far too much of the Founding Fathers. The Modern Mothers will be on my side. I know, I’ll call the Supreme Court Justices and have them set that Electoral College nonsense aside. This is a democracy and I WON.

CC:      Sorry but you can’t change the rules.

DT:      What if I do?  I owned this election, it’s mine and any decision that doesn’t make me President is just not fair. I know, let’s get Congress to impeach Clinton.

CC:      Don’t think so, Mr PU. She’s not the President yet, not till she’s inaugurated in January and there’s that small thing, you need grounds to impeach.

DT:      She’s told so many lies about me, you know my hair being a wig and all that. So, your first act as Chief will be to get this impeachment done. Now I want to plan my first foreign trip so I can meet other important people. I want you to get onto this straight away.

CC:      (Shrugs and puts on a resigned face.) What do you have in mind?

DT:      I need to meet Putin. He has to be told to stop opposing America. I’ll show him how I will grow our armed forces and develop weapons so that I don’t have to use them. Everybody will be so scared of me.

CC:      That’s America’s foreign policy? Will we be Scary Mary?

DT:      Too right. I need to meet with Chow Mein or whoever is the boss of China. I’ll scare him too. I’ll put tariffs on Chinese goods so high, he’ll squeal.

CC:      Is foreign trade that simple, Mr PU?

DT:      You betcha. Forget the State Department. We are going non PC.

CC:      What does that mean?

DT:      Policy is what I say it is. I should visit places where I have investments and boost their values. So, we’ll start with Scotland.  I’ll visit my luxury golf course complex. And I don’t want any nonsense that Obama put up with with the Saudis. Make sure the King meets me when I land.

CC:      The King of Scotland? Don’t you mean the Queen?

DT:      No, the King. I saw a pic a while back. He’s a big black man.

CC:      Mr President-Unelected. Thank you for your offer but might I put this in words you will understand? You are fucking nuts. You lost the election, there’s no way back for you because you have insulted pretty well every American man and woman except a few white low-life males who have the brains of a flea. I was crazy to endorse you. My political career is dead as a result. Have a nice day. (CC leaves the room.)

DT:      What an odd man. I offer him the greatest job ever, working for me and he turns it down. Mind you, he couldn’t even close a bridge properly. Now, someone get the Supremes down here.